Innocence

Beguiled

Innocence. The definition that resonates with me is, “…the absence of guile.” Guile means “…treacherous cunning; skillfult deceit.” To be beguiled means you are so enchanted by a skilled liar that you are trading your hours, your days to engage in a useless pursuit that, on the surface, feels pretty darn good. Like watching tv or looking at Facebook.

What is it about that colourful, squawky box or the endless scroll of status updates? I’m enchanted. I can’t get enough. I sit down in front of either of them, just for something to look at while I tie my running shoes and adjust my iPod, and I stay there for half an hour. I’m bewitched. I’m not nearly as enchanted by the idea of going for a run. The run – well, I could take it or leave it. But what’s interesting is that the tv and FB offer me the same things as a run – promised state of happiness, health, firm thighs (if the ads are anything to go by). But, only the run’s promises are real.

Over and over it’s been proven to me which promises are real and which are false. And over and over I go with the false promises. When I sell my body, my soul, to the false promises, I feel sullied. Unwashed. Undesirable. I go back to the real promises, sweat out the guilt in a 7 km run and make my own false promises to never desert the good life again. Maybe that’s the end of innocence. When you make wonderful and good promises to yourself that, even in that very moment, you know you will break.

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